THE DILEMMA
Should I stay or should I go?
I am from Italy, but for the past 20 years I have lived in the UK, and have created a family here. I am now in my late 50s and as time goes on I find myself feeling increasingly detached with no roots. I am aware of the economic problems that Italy is experiencing at the moment, but I keep wondering if we should move back.
I wonder if it will be better for me and my partner to be closer to my family in Italy. I enjoy the UK lifestyle (not the weather, though!) which is the main reason I came here, and work has never been a problem… well, until recently.
Why am I feeling like this now? Is it age ? Do we all yearn to return to our roots? Am I viewing life in Italy through rose-tinted glasses?
The gravitational type pull towards the past as we grow older is understandable, but I’m not quite sure how we resist it, or whether we should.
Back in July last year, I spent an idyllic sun-blessed week in Battipaglia, Italy, where we holidayed as children. As I waded in the turquoise water, I showed my child and partner where we caught giant crabs, and that stream that miraculously (it seemed to us as kids) disappeared entirely in summer, and the rotonda where I had my first kiss.
Later in the local pizzeria I revisited shared childhood memories with my friends and cousins, last seen when I was 10 years old, and felt an irrational but no less overwhelming sense of homecoming.
There’s no question to me that life is a circle. The longer we last the closer we feel to our beginnings.
As we edge towards the end of our days, instead of looking forward with boundless enthusiasm we find ourselves slipping back to past memories.
Our expectation of life dims as we approach the ultimate cul de sac. It’s no wonder, as you reach the halfway point, that your thoughts are drifting to your home country.
The point at which the impulse to return home becomes more of a tug is entirely subjective, often irrational and requires careful consideration before being acted upon.
Family should be a democracy, and such a major move would need tacit agreement from the majority, rather than a diktat from one member. In other words, we should always consider the feelings of others.
But one must also consider that move from the UK to Italy is likely to involve a major change in your lifestyle, one from a predominantly indoor life to an outdoor one.
A recent study revealed that in your 50s you’re more likely to take risks, change career, come out, get divorced or start a new business.
But recreating the past is impossible. Relationships with parents, relations and friends all change over the years, and so returning can never recreate the past. Simply playing puppet to your heartstrings is never a good choice ...
E. Granese
I wonder if it will be better for me and my partner to be closer to my family in Italy. I enjoy the UK lifestyle (not the weather, though!) which is the main reason I came here, and work has never been a problem… well, until recently.
Why am I feeling like this now? Is it age ? Do we all yearn to return to our roots? Am I viewing life in Italy through rose-tinted glasses?
The gravitational type pull towards the past as we grow older is understandable, but I’m not quite sure how we resist it, or whether we should.
Back in July last year, I spent an idyllic sun-blessed week in Battipaglia, Italy, where we holidayed as children. As I waded in the turquoise water, I showed my child and partner where we caught giant crabs, and that stream that miraculously (it seemed to us as kids) disappeared entirely in summer, and the rotonda where I had my first kiss.
Later in the local pizzeria I revisited shared childhood memories with my friends and cousins, last seen when I was 10 years old, and felt an irrational but no less overwhelming sense of homecoming.
There’s no question to me that life is a circle. The longer we last the closer we feel to our beginnings.
As we edge towards the end of our days, instead of looking forward with boundless enthusiasm we find ourselves slipping back to past memories.
Our expectation of life dims as we approach the ultimate cul de sac. It’s no wonder, as you reach the halfway point, that your thoughts are drifting to your home country.
The point at which the impulse to return home becomes more of a tug is entirely subjective, often irrational and requires careful consideration before being acted upon.
Family should be a democracy, and such a major move would need tacit agreement from the majority, rather than a diktat from one member. In other words, we should always consider the feelings of others.
But one must also consider that move from the UK to Italy is likely to involve a major change in your lifestyle, one from a predominantly indoor life to an outdoor one.
A recent study revealed that in your 50s you’re more likely to take risks, change career, come out, get divorced or start a new business.
But recreating the past is impossible. Relationships with parents, relations and friends all change over the years, and so returning can never recreate the past. Simply playing puppet to your heartstrings is never a good choice ...
E. Granese
